I am sure many of you have come across all of the articles, blog post, tweets, etc in regards to the Sh*t people say and the majority of them have been based on what is said to single people. Well let's put on my shoes for a moment and experience the Sh*t that people say to married people. Yes, we get our fair share of foolishness as well, take a look at the below to see what I mean.
#1- I don't believe in marriage because men are dogs, it's just a piece of paper, there is no way two people can last forever and he probably will just cheat sooner or later but anyway, congratulations. What??? Here I am all happy in married land and the only thing that can come out of your mouth is pure negativity? Have you realized how bitter you sound? We all go through things in life and I'm sure you may have been through your fair share based on your comments but instead of being negative and ruining my joy, why not take the time to forgive, heal and figure out why you are so against marriage and men in general. Until then please keep the negativity to yourself.
#2- I heard you just got married, are you pregnant?- I haven't particularly encountered this question myself but I know of some who have and it's actually quite a rude thing to ask. Now I'm not going to act like these things don't happen because they do but don't just ask someone this question, maybe, just maybe they are actually in love with the person they are with and want to build a future with them whether there is a baby on board or not. Really it's none of any one's business so unless they divulge the information to you, keep this question to yourself.
#3- When are you going to hurry up and get pregnant and have some babies?- Why are you rushing me, no seriously, why? There are some loving family members and friends who mean no harm when they ask this but goodness there is more to getting married then having kids and due to the fact that I just got married yesterday, may I please enjoy my husband for a bit?
#4- Your still not pregnant?- Quite a few months have passed and your not pregnant so at this point your loved ones will start to wonder and then comes the pressure. What they don't stop to realize is that, what if you are trying to get pregnant but are having a hard time and the questions are actually hindering and not helping the situation. Maybe, you have decided you don't want kids and there questions are making you second guess your decision, whatever the case, this is a very sensitive subject and unless the subject is brought up by the person being questioned, leave it alone. Whatever the reasoning is, it's their business and you saying things like, "hurry up I want to be an uncle or I need a child to spoil," will not make them move any faster. Actually, that whole situation just sounds personal so I'd say get a puppy to fill the void you are feeling and let me continue to handle my business over here.
#5- Are you still allowed to go out?- There is always one friend who will ask this question when ladies night plans roll around. This is when I usually think to myself, am I sick or dying and my doctor has forbid me from having a night out with my friends? If the answer to this is no, then yes, of course I can go out, I'm married not a hostage. Sheesh!
#6- What time do you have to be home?- This question honestly wouldn't bother me at all if this same kind of concern was shown during my non-married days. When this question comes to me only after I've married then I start to wonder, "Does this person think my husband is my parole officer and if I'm not home by a certain hour a swat team will be out looking for me?" My husband is just that my husband who by the way happens to trust me. Don't worry, I'm a responsible adult and will make it home when I feel it's best but thank you for asking and yes don't worry, the hubs will be informed.
#7- I went to that place we always wanted to go to last night and it was great.- This place could be a new Sushi restaurant, make-up palace, whatever, the key is that it was a we thing and it's something we planned to do together. Instead of asking me if I was interested in going you automatically diss me because I'm married now and you just figure I wouldn't be interested because you specifically stated, "Oh, you have a husband now so I didn't think you'd want to go with me." What kind of foolishness is that to say, you know damn well my husband doesn't like Sushi. Sigh! The husband and I have interest we share and those that we don't so before you assume anything, please ask.
#8-Your husband allows you to wear that?- Now what now? He's not my father but I do respect him as my husband and well hell I happen to have a confident husband who actually likes his wife to look sexy, as long as my butt cheeks aren't hanging out, there is no problem here.
I love being married and most importantly I am grateful for being able to have married my best friend but it boggles my mind as to how people don't think before they speak. Just because I'm married now doesn't mean that your anti-marriage comments don't hurt or that I don't want to be included in anything that is outside of my marriage because in actuality that is not the case. I'm still my own person and at times it would be nice to be treated as such.
For those that make these comments or ask these questions you may or may not mean any harm but just remember to think before you speak as we married folks have feelings to.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest..Have you ever had to deal with any foolish comments or questions when it came to your marriage? If so, how did you deal?
As always, thank you so very much for reading and please remember to leave your comments below.