Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Confront It or Let It Go?...



I debated this question for so very long and for many different reasons. After pondering this question I realized there is no yes or no answer, or right or wrong. The only answer is that of what you choose and making sure that choice is the right one for you. Let's take my past personal situation for instance...
 
There was an individual I considered a friend off and on for many years, particularly since High School. We lost contact through the years but came in touch again within our adult years.  Slowly I began to learn this "friend," seemed like the type that only remembered friendships when she was single but this time around I thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Fast forward to 2009, here she is again, single and looking for a friend or advice to kill time in between boyfriends.  She would always tell me how much she appreciated the friendship and those words meant the world to me so here we are again, frolicking off as friends.

Months pass by and we barely talk, now it's normal to get caught up in everyday life so I don't expect to hear from you all the time but a simple text saying, "Hello, how are you," is even sufficient.  Once again, still giving her the benefit of the doubt, I roll with it. I introduce this individual to a couple of my other gf's and not to long after I am told this individual is talking about my relationship and how come I can be so lucky so on and so forth.  I don't like to partake in he said, she said and although this bothered me, I let it roll off my back.   Weeks continue on and girl outings turn into let's make slick and jealous comments about Shamika and hers. With the sillyness continuing on and now right in front of my face, I continue to speak to this person here and there but i'm starting to consider the friendship waning at this point.

With this foolishness going on for a span of over two years what ultimately ended the friendship on my end was the passing of my Dad in 2011. I never received a phone call (even after another friend dropped a hint) to see if I was ok and no offer condolences, up until this day.

Although, my "friend," who appreciated our friendship was not there when I needed her most, she had the nerve to call me a few months later and ask me for advice in regards to her new boo who had a similar past as my husband.  My first thought is, are you f'n kidding me??? This unbelievable scenario made me nothing but an angry and bitter person because I couldn't fathom how some people could be so selfish.

After all this time I finally asked myself, should I confront her and let her know how I feel? Curse her out for not giving a damn about anyone but herself? I let a few months pass and began reading some excellent books and speaking to the husband and friends and I finally decided to fine peace within  myself, forgive her and let the friendship go.

Could I have confronted the issues?.. of course, but it may have done nothing but cause me more pain which is a place I no longer wanted to be. I feel that the choice I made was the right one for me and it's something I wouldn't change.
Until this day, I wish this person all the best and would never want anything bad to happen to her but in life it's just best to let some things or people go. Plus, my circle of  friendships may not be huge but they are built around meaningful friendships and that's something I wouldn't change that for the world.

When your angry or upset about a situation do you confront it or just let it go? Did your choice turn out to be the best one for you?

Thank you all so very much for reading and be sure to leave your thoughts and comments below.

xoxo
~Positively Jewls

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